Fake iceberg injures guests at Titanic museum


If this was an iceberg photo, we'd be afraid your screen would fall off and hurt you.

If this was an iceberg photo, we’d be afraid your screen would fall off and hurt you.
Photo: Hulton Archives (Getty Images)

In the most convincing evidence to date that the universe is controlled by a malevolent overlord who takes ill joy in the woes of our species, visitors to a Titanic Tennessee Museum were injured after a fake iceberg fell on them.

While spending a day discovering the tragedy of 1912, three people on tour Titanic Museum attraction at Pigeon Forge were injured when, like the New York Post reports, “an iceberg wall has collapsed.” The museum has since been closed, visitors are hospitalized with injuries of unknown severity, and the attractionthe owners of have wrote an article on Facebook about the accident.

“Needless to say,” the post read, “we would never have expected an incident like this to happen as the safety of our guests and crew is always a priority.” Speaking in the centuries-old tones appropriate for this kind of incident, the owners go on to explain that they “are proud of the quality of our maintenance and have put measures in place to ensure that the appropriate safety instructions are followed.”

the Titanic Museum attractions website describes it as a place that allows visitors to “experience what it was like to walk through the halls, lounges, cabins and the grand staircase of the Titanic. “He also announces, grimly in retrospect, the possibility” of learning what it looked like on the RMS Titanic by experiencing it firsthand. We can only imagine that this refers to features like letting “visitors touch a real iceberg”, “reaching their hands in 28 degree water” and “trying to stand on sloping bridges” instead of … good you know.

If only James Cameron weren’t so busy providing the world Following Avatar suites which we might ever need, we suggest he quickly travel to Tennessee to start work on the film version of this event.

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